


Touch

by ailyn147



Category: Violet Evergarden (Anime)
Genre: Bittersweet, Character Analysis, Emotional Hurt, F/M, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, Loneliness, Memories, Music, Physical Disability, Spoilers, Veterans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:28:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22597834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ailyn147/pseuds/ailyn147
Summary: Violet tossed and turned in her bed, lacking the ability to sleep. Moon was the only source of light in the room, putting only couple of gentle rays on the walls. It was enough to make the emerald stone shine, nearly the same way as eyes reflecting starry sky. Violet's heart ached because of looking at the brooch. She didn’t know why, but the pain was surely there, yet she didn’t want to stop... She lowered her little treasure to bring it close to her lips. Smooth, cold surface made her shiver at first, but it became warmer the longer she kept it close to her skin...--Emotional journey of Violet Evergarden, set in the time presented in anime.
Relationships: Gilbert Bougainvillea/Violet Evergarden
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	1. Burning flower

_Violet tossed and turned in her bed, lacking the ability to sleep. Moon was the only source of light in the room, putting only couple of gentle rays on the walls. It was enough to make the emerald stone shine, nearly the same way as eyes reflecting starry sky. Violet's heart ached because of looking at the brooch. She didn’t know why, but the pain was surely there, yet she didn’t want to stop... She lowered her little treasure to bring it close to her lips. Smooth, cold surface made her shiver at first, but it became warmer the longer she kept it close to her skin..._

***

“Major, I want to come with you!” small blonde girl insisted, clenching her hands on the arm of much taller, dark haired solider. Gilbert stopped walking down the path and his visibly annoyed emerald eyes focused fully on Violet. They relaxed as he sighed and smiled at her.

“This time you can’t follow me, Violet” he repeated and once his arm was free, he took two steps towards the forest. He knelt down for a moment, looking for something on the ground. Violet’s curiosity was quickly satisfied by seeing him come back with tiny, violet flower. “Here, take this and keep it until it blooms. Then I’ll come for you.” He told, lowering himself and extending his arm to give her violet bud.  


“But Major, it’s already dead, it will never bloom!” Violet raised her voice, having no idea why he wanted to leave her behind. His words made no sense. Tears gathered in her eyes on these thoughts. Gilbert came closer to put the flower into her hand and close both Violet’s and his fingers around it.

“Soldiers can’t make promises, we both know that” he started, keeping her eyes focused on him. “But this time I do. I promise you Violet, that this flower will bloom and I will come back to you.”  


Violet was stunned by the intensity of his gaze. She still didn’t understand – the truth was he was going to be in dangerous places, somewhere far away where she would not be able to save him. Why he was doing that? She was his tool, why didn’t he want to bring her with him? Was there something wrong with her?

Suddenly she felt cold on her palm, when Major’s hand released it. There was only violet flower left, but Major Gilbert was nowhere to be found…

“Major!” she screamed and woke up. It was the middle of the night, she was covered with sweat and barely kept herself from screaming again. Her right hand… the same one that held the flower bud, was now clenched painfully. Violet felt her nails digging into her skin, cutting it till it bled. Her whole arm was tensed up to the shoulder and she couldn’t release it. Why couldn’t she let go of the single violet? Why her arm was not working?

She thought to herself, and the cold realization made her stop moaning. The pain wasn’t real, she knew that. She didn’t have arms, there was no way she could feel it. She forced her prosthetic arm to raise up horizontally to the shoulders level. Then, she moved her arm towards left shoulder and behind her head, using her left hand to push it stronger. Soon, the phantom pain slowly turned to the real feeling of the rest of her arm being pulled. She took a deep breath.

Sometimes it happened, sometimes she felt like her arms were back real, even if they didn’t. The long time she spend in hospital, nurses prepared her to face such situations. There was nothing weird about it. That’s right - there was nothing bad about having the prosthetics, she just needed to operate it better, so she would be still useful to Major. Coming back to sleep, she wondered if this kind of imaginary pain was the same mentioned by President Hodgins. Burning. It didn’t quite feel like fire, but maybe…What did Major in her dream mean by making the flower bloom? If they were both right and she didn’t have hands anymore to keep the flower from fire… Will he ever come back?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wondered a lot what my first Violet fanfic should be about. I've read so many fantastic ones and I've come to a point where I thought I will never find anything exceptional to built the story around, but well... There was that one weird thing about Violet and after I've re-watched the first episode I knew I wanted to bring this up to light.  
> I hope you'll enjoy this little intro a bit! :) I'll try to add more chapters soon :)


	2. Sound of broken things

Violet woke up a bit more tired than usually, but at the same early hour. Once she remembered what happened in the night, she clenched her hands and released it, stretching her fingers to make sure she still had control over it. She proceeded to prepare herself to work, like nothing had happened at all.

Entering CH Postal’s writing room, she was greeted by very happy Erica.

“Violet! Come here, I need your help with writing this letter!” short brown-haired girl told before grabbing Violet’s arm. It took her a second to abandon thoughts of snatching her arm free and using it to pin Erica to the ground. But Erica was a Doll – not an enemy. Still, even if her hands were not feeling anything except for phantom pain now, she didn’t quite got used to being touched. It was an oddly disturbing feeling.

“Did something happen?” Violet asked, before she sat down beside Erica who was setting up the typewriter in front of her.

“I just spoke to the girl that wants me to write a love letter!” she squeaked quietly. “I thought you’d want to hear this too if you want, you know, to learn what love means…” she added, blushing slightly. Violet’s eyes widened for a moment. Love. Yes, that was exactly why she choose this job.

“Thank you for your consideration, Erica” she replied at the same moment when young girl shyly entered their part of the office. Violet greeted her and started to watch her closely. She seemed happy, but hesitant. Young, but older than Violet, with brown, shoulder-length hair. Shaking hands clasped together in front of her chest, quickened breath, avoiding eye contact. Was that how person who knew love looked like?

Violet tried to not to interrupt Erica, as the last time her advices caused them troubles, but she couldn’t resist asking a question that rose in her mind.

“… and please write that I love his music. I love everything he plays. And I love the way world stops because of it! This music goes straight to the heart, you know?”

“Isn’t love a feeling towards person, not the things around him?” Violet raised her voice, giving Ran Belanger a curious look. The girl jumped in her seat, hearing the question. Her next words were told with trembling voice.

“I-I think it’s not that way… I mean, I… It’s loving the person and everything about him – everything he does, creates… Like music, I guess…” Her cheeks got a bit more red, but she smiled brightly anyway. So did that mean that the same feeling Major had towards Violet… He was feeling the same way about what she did?

“I don’t…” she started once again, but Erica interrupted her, speaking out words she typed. Violet tried to digest all of the information she learned. Soon, the letter was done and the girl came up with another question.

“C-could you possibly deliver it to him personally? I don’t have address to his house, but to the street where he performs… Blonde guy playing a guitar, Dannel Vogelsang…” she explained and before Violet could protest that it’s against policy, Erica accepted her request.

“Of course, Miss Belanger. Thank you again for using our Auto-Memory Doll services” she said cheerfully and turned happily to Violet. “And how was that?” she asked. “She was so lovely and brave! What a lucky guy!”

Violet blinked couple of times. She was even more confused about that ‘love’ topic than before.

“Do you want to deliver this letter to him? Maybe he expects it and you will be able to see his reaction!” Erica added before Violet managed to reply to her first question. Her eyes were shining with excitement that Violet didn’t quite get. She took a deep breath, accepting her lack of knowledge once again.

“Yes. I accept this assignment” she replied, determined to learn more. She was doing it for Major and there was nothing in the world that would stop her from trying to understand his orders.

***

In the late afternoon, Violet was finally released off her duties in the office. With a sealed letter in bag, she stepped out of the building and followed precisely memorized path to find the recipient. She was extremely careful on unknown terrains with civilians around. This time her actions were even more conscious, as she was visiting the part of Leiden she’d never been to before. She kept close watch on the people and all the corners where potential enemies could have hidden. Even if the sun was setting, the area seemed lively. Men lightning up street lanterns, children running around, adults hurrying their homes… Cities were harder terrain than battlefield, so no wonder why she was put on guard. Luckily, before any unexpected event happened, she heard a guitar playing. She followed this sound to the small but crowded square among tall buildings. In the center of it there was a fountain on which’s edge person described by her client was sitting and playing. Messy and a bit long blonde hair, brown eyes, tall, muscular frame, casual clothes. His music didn’t match his appearance. It was slow, surprisingly calm and the sound of his voice made it even softer.

Violet stopped to study this person. She immediately felt there was something odd about him. He made an impression like he was lost in his music, throwing careless, wistful looks at people around him. Violet knew better. He was keeping an eye on the surroundings. She hesitantly stepped forward, keeping herself off his sight as long as possible, until she was too close to be ignored. Man started to play slower and finished the same moment that Violet appeared right next to him.

“Aren’t you too young to be able to set a trap for me?” he asked, smiling. There was something nonchalant about his behavior, which didn’t come in pair with what soldier should look like.

“Dannel Vogelsang” she started, without answering his question. It was her duty to deliver the letter, aside from the curiosity over the topic it moved. She opened her bag to take out the letter, but the man jumped back, standing half meter away in defensive position. Violet froze. So he was indeed a solider. “I have a letter for you” she explained, slowly taking out the paper. “I am not armed – I work for CH Postal. Auto-Memory Doll, Violet Evergarden at your service” she told to make him trust her at least to take the letter. Her words were followed by gently bow.

Dannel was suspicious. He eyed Violet up and down, looking for any signs of bad intentions. After a moment of hesitation he finally took a step towards the girl and grabbed the letter.

“Are you going to open it?” Violet asked not hiding her curiosity. She couldn’t wait to see if what Ran Belanger told about love was true. The man raised his eyebrow and looked at Violet questioningly.

“Is this really a trap? If yes – you’re doing it terribly wrong, kid” he replied.

“This is not a trap. It’s a love letter” Violet told like it was nothing exceptional, but still maintaining seriousness on her face. “I can read it for you if you can’t do it yourself” she added, coming to realization that not everybody might have been able to read. If it wasn’t for Major Gilbert, she would never possess this ability. Dannel was visibly confused, but shook his head.

“Eh, I can do it myself, thanks… Did… Did you write this letter?” he asked, relaxing. Violet noticed that his physical reaction was similar to Ran’s.

“No, I am here in the name of my client” she explained.

Dannel came back to his place on the fountain’s edge, placed his instrument aside and raised his head to her.

“I don’t get it, why do you want me to open it now?” he asked. Violet replied without hesitation, like it was obvious.

“I need to see you reaction.”

“Is this some kind of a joke?” Dannel questioned.

“I do no such things as jokes” she replied, maintaining perfect seriousness on her face for all the time.

“This is just private, you know? You can’t just stick your nose into someone’s matters.” Dannel sighed and put his hand over his eyes. But unfortunately for him Violet was stubborn.

“Does this mean you will not read the letter?” she placed a question, but in the same moment, she noticed unexpected movement in the corner of her eye. Three armed guys in uniforms, eyeing musician. Coming closer form different directions. Dannel noticed it too, but before he was able to react, Violet grabbed his arm and run towards one of the streets she assumed safe.

“Wait, my guitar…!” Dannel stopped abruptly. He must’ve not been fully aware of the fact they were soon to be surrounded.

“There is no time!” Violet pulled him once again and didn’t look back anymore. They were running between the buildings, trying their best to lose their followers. Violet dived into the narrow alley between two buildings and pushed her back against the wall. After two deep breaths she looked out, to see the people who might have followed them. Dannel was right next to her, breathing heavily. Luckily, it seemed that they escaped successfully.

“Why are they looking for you?” she asked. For as long as she could notice, the men had Leiden’s navy marks. She clenched her fist on one of Dannel’s wrists. In second fist was clenched on the letter.

“I’m a deserter, not an enemy” he explained slowly. He didn’t bother with Violet’s silent threat, assuming she was weak. That happened to her a lot. “Captain Bougainvillea is not pleased with the idea of releasing me off service” he continued. Violet’s heart skipped a beat hearing this surname. For a second she was vulnerable, but she quickly adjusted her grip, turning his wrist around and surely causing a lot of pain.

“Captain Dietfried Bougainvillea?” she asked. Her body was trembling a bit, but she didn’t understand why. It was harder to maintain her silver arms this way. Musician or soldier – the man in front of her was completely surprised by not being able to set himself free easily.

“Yes, him! Let go of me!” Dannel replied. Violet was confused. Should she lead him to Dietfried or leave him? Why would anyone run from his orders in the first place? On the second thought, she served Major Gilbert, not his brother. She wasn’t obliged to help him. But the law…

“Why?” she asked first, releasing her grip a bit. “Why did you run?” Maybe he was a traitor or other criminal avoiding the court?

Dannel held out her intense gaze. He was clearly studying her, surprised by her determination. In the end, he nodded.

“I’ll tell you. Let’s go to my home first, it’s not safe here” he said. His sight moved back to the place they run from. Violet’s eyes widened in realization. She looked at him once again and decided that this solider is worth trusting.

“Tell me where I need to come. I’ll bring your guitar - you left it because of me” she said and let go of Dannel’s wrist as a sign of agreement. There was some mutual understanding between them, like between her and other Dolls. Violet couldn’t name it. But it felt different in a way that brought back memories from war.

***

Violet untied her hair just to look a bit different from ‘the girl who ran with the deserter’. It wasn’t much, she knew that, but better safe than sorry. Her hair grew long lately, so she swept blonde locks to her back. The sun had already set completely, so the only source of light were street lanterns. Not much people on the square, no soldiers. The instrument was lying on the ground near to the fountain, not attracting much attention from passersby. She went closer and lifted it gently. It was surprisingly light for something so big. She looked at it curiously and tried fitting it to her, like she was about to play. She didn’t understand how was this supposed to be connected to love, according to Ran Belanger.

“Look, a stray among junk. How comes I find this miserable creature again?” she heard a voice behind her and a tip of the saber on her back. She turned around slowly, noticing two men in front of her. One that she knew and probably some of his protégés. She recognized commander’s insignia on his uniform.

“Captain, commander” she greeted them, not able to speak more. She was conflicted about Dietfried, especially in terms of his looks. His eyes had the same color… Beautiful color, like her brooch. If it wasn’t for long braid and angry expression, he could be so similar to Major Gilbert…

“Are you now the dog of lieutenant Vogelsang? You change your owners quickly” Dietfried spoke, piercing her with intense gaze.

“I serve no one but Major and according to his orders, President Hodgins” she clarified.

“If you help Vogelsang hide, I will kill you” he stated like he didn’t even hear her words. “You disgust me.”

He raised his saber dangerously, so Violet put her arm on its way to cover her face. To her surprise, she didn’t feel any pressure on her prosthetics. There was a dull sound, something pushed against her chest... And itching feeling on her nose. She blinked and carefully removed arm that covered her view to see that Dietfried was already passing by her.

“You should have died at Intense” he whispered behind her ear.

Was he letting her go? She turned on her heel to see he was indeed going away. And without ordering his protégé to follow her. Slowly, Violet felt pain in her chest, but she wasn’t able to focus on it. It’d been covered by the last words of captain Bougainvillea. How many times she wondered if it hadn’t been better solution? If Major Gilbert would see her now – without arms – would he say the same thing? That she wasn’t useful and she should have died?

Violet looked down at her hands. She was still holding Dannel’s guitar, but it had long cut across its body now. The strings that were so similar to the ones making Violet’s arms move, were now torn. She studied guitar for a minute before convincing herself that she couldn’t connect the strings again. She understood that the instrument will be thrown away, but she decided to bring him to Dannel anyway. As a proof probably. Or maybe to let him give it to Ran – she seemed to like this object. Maybe there was some place in the world where broken guitar would be needed.

***

Violet didn’t expect Dannel’s directions to be so accurate. She walked carefully across the city to find small restaurant with a garden on the backyard. No one stopped her when she went through the establishment, straight to the outside where only couple of customers were sitting. Two separate pairs, talking and eating in the light of candles. On the left side of restaurant’s building Violet found narrow, metal staircase. She went up quickly and knocked. Soon, familiar musician opened the door and let her in. His eyes went wide the moment he looked carefully at Violet. She knew why.

“I apologize for letting it be broken” she started, but Dannel turned around and went to another room. Violet took a look at his home. Small, single window, one bed and desk. Doors on the left and right, probably bathroom and kitchen. Main room reminded Violet of her own living place, but there was one major difference – she didn’t have that many unnecessary items.

When Dannel came back, Violet tried to apologize once again, but he went straight towards her with clean cloth in hand and plaster in second.

“Did you get yourself in troubles, kid?” he asked, putting wet cloth against her nose. Violet realized it hurt a bit. Like small wound. And then, the feeling of someone’s hand against her face… It was pleasant. She wondered why she didn’t think of pinning him to the ground before he even reached her. Once Dannel finished, Violet noticed the cloth was slightly stained with blood. Could it be caused by cut guitar string?

“Thank you for your help, but that was unnecessary” she stated, stepping back from him so he could not stick a plaster to her face. “I am healthy.” She felt weird. The only person who tended her wounds was Major. And nurses in Enciel. No one should be allowed so close, yet she didn’t protest in the first place.

Dannel smiled. Did she say something funny?

“I see. Now let me hear what happened, Violet.”

Violet briefly described how encounter with captain Bougainvillea looked like. She made sure to mention that no one was following her and that she apologizes for failing to protect his instrument. Violet was sitting on the chair, while Dannel sat on the bed in the opposite of her. Broken guitar was leaning against the desk.

“I will buy you a new one” she declared at the end, determined to correct her mistake. Dannel laughed, reaching for guitar.

“No need to worry, kid. It couldn’t be more perfect. I need to change the strings and it should be fine” he told, studying the damage closely.

“But the cut… Isn’t it going to impact your music?” she asked, not understanding why he didn’t want to dispose the instrument and replace it with better one. It seemed illogical in her mind.

“Hey, it’s just like it has a scar now. Like me…” he said, unbuttoning his shirt a bit to expose nasty scar just above his collarbone. His dark eyes caught Violet’s ones, staring at them with genuine sadness. “Like us. You surely have scars too. Were you really in the army, kid?”

Violet hesitated with the answer. Finally, she thought it’d be the best to ask. She brought her hands up to her mouth and took off the gloves with her teeth.

“Can this be considered a scar?” she placed a question towards shocked Dannel, once both of her silver prosthetics had been exposed.

“Oh my… Violet, I am so sorry…” he muttered once he released his voice that was stuck in his throat. “I should have known better than asking in such careless way. Seems you’ve been through far worse than me. Hope you’ll recover soon” he added and looked straight into her eyes with his deep brown ones.

“I am good” Violet replied like she always did. However in her mind she was still trying to figure it out. “Do you want to open the letter?” she asked, suddenly reminding herself why she’d been there in the first place. Dannel put the guitar back and snorted.

“What about sad deserter’s story you asked for?” he changed the subject with slightly mocking smile.

“I need to hear it too. If you’re a criminal, you should come back to the court-martial” she replied. Some questions were easy to answer directly, but Dannel’s reactions still consisted mostly of shock.

“You are really stubborn” he sighed, scratching the back of his head. “Alright. You saved me, so I’ll tell you the story of my service. But as for the letter, you need to do something for me.” His eyes drifted somewhere away for a moment.

“What do you want me to do?” Violet asked.

“I already suspect who send me the letter.” Dannel smiled, but he looked sad anyway. “I need you to write a response. You are an Auto-Memory Doll, right?”

“Correct.”

“Then we have a deal. Let’s talk about it tomorrow. It’s really late and you should go back home. Are you sure you can return on your own?” he asked with concern in his voice. Violet wondered why he even placed such question. Going out when navy was looking for him didn’t make sense.

“I can” she replied and stood up, walking towards the door. “See you tomorrow, lieutenant Vogelsang.”

It was indeed late, cold, dark and Violet couldn’t care less about it. There were so many thoughts in her head… How she wished she had been given clear orders to follow instead of being thrown into world she didn’t understand. Why did Dannel reject such life? Violet didn’t even realize when she found herself in front of her room. Putting her hand on the doorknob she wondered what she will learn the next day.

***

“Cattleya?” Violet asked before finishing her work in the writing room. “Are there any more assignments for me?”

Beautiful, raven haired girl smiled at Violet.

“I guess no, Violet. Thank you for your hard work today” she replied from her desk. “Do you have any plans for the evening?” she asked, winking.

“I am going to write a letter for someone I met yesterday” Violet replied without hesitation, completely ignoring Cattleya’s meaningful smiles. Her superior quickly gave up and wished Violet luck.

On her way to Dannel’s home, Violet was cautious once again – this time looking especially for any signs of following her soldiers. Dietfired knew where she was working, he could have waited until she finished her job. This time she had as much luck as the previous day. It caused unsettling feeling, but she was sure she did everything she could to prevent Navy from finding her client.

Dannel greeted her with a smile on his face. He didn’t miss a chance to point out that walking with typewriter must had been exhausting, which Violet denied. She started unpacking her things when Dannel brought water she asked for.

“Do you want to start writing now?” Violet placed a question to the man sitting on the bed. He was staring blankly at the floor and remained silent for a moment.

“Listen to me first” he finally spoke and raised his head. “I think it’ll be easier this way…”

“I understand” Violet replied. Dannel took a deep breath and the story begun.

“I never wanted to join the Navy, but well, it was war. I started from the lowest possible rank, but there were so many things happening around… We were really short on people. I’ve been thrown into assault squad… And it turned out I was good at commanding during hard contact. I was good at many things I want to forget now. This was my way to become lieutenant under captain Bougainvillea. If you know him, you know he is cruel. Serving with him… It was the path of constant success and bloodshed.”

Violet wondered. In her mind there was nothing wrong about the service of captain Bougainvillea. War meant bloodshed. But yes, every time she saw him, every memory of him was… Unpleasant. Dannel looked at her, noticing she’d been thinking about something. She caught his sight and nodded, telling him this way that he can continue. His story consisted mostly of loss and regret. Then, when he told about his best friend, his eyes shone with amber light.

“…it was hard, you know Violet? Did you ever lose anyone so dear to you? God, I hope not, because this… It was too much for me to bear. Like my heart wanted to tear out of my chest…”

She didn’t lose anyone, did she? Major was alive, but somewhere far away. So why his words were so familiar…

“Then I took this…” Dannel spoke, reaching out to take guitar into his shaking hands. “I took his guitar and ran away…” he explained and gently tug at the strings. Violet’s eyes widened a bit. New silver strings were connecting guitar’s bridge with its head. The tone they sung was in minor key. “That’s it Violet. That’s why I don’t want to come back. I can’t do this alone anymore…”

For longer moment, the only thing heard was guitar playing. Neither Dannel, nor Violet dared to say a word. But to the girl it was enough. She understood that somehow, her feelings were similar. She didn’t know their source yet, but she was sure to figure it out.

“Right” Dannel finally broke, stopping his music. “That’s how I’ve ended up here and met Ran” he picked up his story. Violet noticed his fingers started playing once again, but this music was completely different. It was more… happy. “She was coming to see me every day. To most of the people I was just living from playing, but she noticed that I wanted to convey my feelings into the music. We spoke couple of times, but never really openly. I was afraid at first, but after reading the letter…” his smile rose and his eyes sparkled as he looked at Violet. “I should have known she is someone I can trust. From the very beginning, she was the person who filled the emptiness within me. And to think about being connected by music… The instrument I hold so dear, spoke instead of me and such beautiful, wise girl heard it…”

“I don’t understand that” Violet interrupted. “Guitar can’t speak.”

Dannel studied her face for a moment as he stopped playing.

“Violet, did you ever play any instrument?” he asked.

“No” she replied.

“Do you want to try?” he placed another question. Violet found his behavior weird.

“Is it something I should do?”

Dannel didn’t reply, but extended the hand that held the instrument by its neck. Violet took off her gloves and carefully picked the guitar.

“What do you want me to do with it?” she asked once again. She had no clue what was the point of that at all. Dannel stood up and started explaining how she should hold the instrument.

“Okay. Now that your fingers are here… move the other hand across the strings…”

Violet was a quick learner, but she didn’t feel a single thing Dannel was talking about. She adjusted her fingers on the guitar’s neck, but she wasn’t sure if she was holding it strong enough. All those subtle details made her think that she wasn’t made for this…

Clinking sound broke the silence. It was unpleasant.

“Not bad” Dannel replied, smiling, but there was nothing sincere about it.

“My arms are not adjusted to this activity” she told, giving the guitar back to its owner. She… She didn’t want to do this. She didn’t want to play. It was something bad, but she didn’t know why. Dannel accepted the instrument and started playing once again.

“Alright… Then let me tell you something…” he spoke and started playing some familiar song. Violet recognized the notes, he was playing it before. Or maybe not? Soft tunes were soon followed by delicate voice. He was singing. He was smiling, but his voice was sad. Violet listened carefully to his words. They were mysterious to her, like they didn’t make sense. Heart.. the inside of it…? Thorns? And remembering someone… She’d never heard this song before, so why it sounded so familiar? Her pulse quickened. Every time he repeated the words of remembering, her imagination took her to Major Gilbert. She remembered his face, but together with sound of guitar she felt nearly physical pain in her chest. This was a nonsense, she could feel phantom pain only in her arms, only in the parts of body she was missing. Her chest and everything inside functioned well. The song soon ended, fading along with the ache.

“This is my whole story, Violet” Dannel explained, putting the guitar aside. “But told with music. What do you think about it?”

Violet didn’t realize her hand was clenched on the brooch. She didn’t feel it underneath her fingers, but its color was in front of her mind’s eyes. Dannel was looking at her, but she couldn’t find the right answer.

“I don’t know” she told, looking away. Her sight landed on the typewriter. Was conveying story through music similar to writing letters? Letters were surely easier to decipher. Dannel sighed.

“That’s alright Violet” he said.

“Shall we start?” she asked, looking back at him. Her hands landed just above the keys of the typewriter. Dannel smiled at her, but again, there was nothing happy about his expression. Violet realized he was feeling sorry for her.

“Yes, Violet. I need your help in this” his smile widened as they started writing the letter to Ran.

***

Violet was sitting on the fountain’s edge, waiting for the girl to come. It was another late afternoon since she began coming here. Finally, she spotted her. Brown haired girl, sad, looking for someone who wasn’t there. Violet stood up and ran towards her.

“Ran Belanger!” she called after girl, who was already leaving the square in dissapointment. Ran turned around and her eyes widened when she recognized Violet.

“You are that Auto-Memory Doll? What do you…”

“I am and I have a letter for you” Violet answered the question with quickened breath before the girl managed to place it. She handed her sealed envelope and bowed gently. “Thank you for using CH Postal’s services, Miss Belanger” she said and turned around to walk away. She didn’t need to see her reaction.

Violet knew how hard was writing this letter. She was heading back to her workplace. She finished earlier today, so she was going to help deliver letters in the evening. Suddenly, Violet stopped. She heard someone crying. For one breathless moment she didn’t know what to do, but she quickly resumed her walk. She studied her surroundings, trying to think of anything but the letter she wrote. Benedict was sure to have finished delivering his part, but maybe she could help Roland. A moment later, she realized there was something on her face. She touched her cheeks, but felt nothing. She came closer to the display window of one of the stores along the way. Her reflection told her what she wasn’t able to feel herself. Silver strings of tears were flowing down her cheeks.

***

_Dear Ran,_

_Thank you for your letter. My heart ached too long to know your full name. Now that I do, I think of nothing more than letting it fall down my lips once I will be finally able to embrace you in my arms._

_Thank you for hearing my music. You are the only one who read it so clearly, with all those beautiful expressions entering your lovely face. This way the only language I knew to tell how I felt and I prayed someday it’d reach your soul. I remember every single time I saw you and this is truly the sight I will have forever in my heart._

_Thank you for being so honest, even if I never had a chance to be honest with you. You see – I ran away from Leidenschaftlich’s Navy. I ran away to play and live my life away from the past that haunts me. I consider myself lucky because you met me as someone I want to be. Please remember me this way… Because I need to stop running first, if I ever want to be worth of you._

_This is a “thank you” and “see you again” letter. I hope we meet each other again. No, I believe so. If you found courage in your heart to convey your love to me – please find some to wait for me too._

_Forgive me for being so selfish and be well, my Dear one._

_With love,  
Your Dannel_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my, I'm so happy I managed to finish this on Valentines Day! Happy Valentines Dear Readers, I wish you looots of love :)  
> But coming back to the story - I really hope it turned out okay. This is the kind of pattern I want to follow in the rest of the chapters - something loosely tied around main theme. I guess chapter 3 will take me a bit more time (I had two-days-long-flow with this one xD). Please let me know if you'd prefer me to share shorter parts, as it turns out to be longer than I expected.  
> If anyone's wondering about the song that Dannel sang to Violet - of course there is real song I fitted into the story :) [You can hear it on the soundcloud. ](https://soundcloud.com/burin-mongkolsawasdikul/deep-inside-my-heart?in=burin-mongkolsawasdikul/sets/just-know-that-i-love-you-priscilla-ahn) It tells Violet's story in a way that made me cry :(  
> Anyway, thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it a bit :)


End file.
